Poem
What if the search was the thing keeping me from arriving?
On this page
For years I treated stillness like a destination. Something I’d reach if I sat long enough, read enough, fixed enough of myself first. The search had its own momentum. It felt like progress because it felt like motion.
What I didn’t see was that the search was the noise. Every time I reached, I confirmed I wasn’t already there. The reaching was the proof of absence I kept generating to justify the next reach.
You don’t arrive at stillness. You stop manufacturing the distance.
The thing you’ve been looking for has been doing the looking.